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April, 2008

  1. Adverb crimes

    April 26, 2008 by Mathew Ferguson

    Last night reading “The God Delusion” and the author used the word pairing “brutally raped”. The word rape is a verb – an action. The word brutally is an adverb – it describes a quality of the verb … and therein begin the crimes of the adverb.

    Is there another way to be raped? What is the difference between brutally raped and raped? Is it possible to be gently raped?

    By adding a quality to the verb we open up all kinds of absurd ideas like the one above. Unfortunately we do have degrees of rape and it all comes down to the details, as the law shows us by enforcing different sentences based on how the rape was conducted.

    Some verbs have many adverbs that pair with them. For example, drink. You can drink slow, fast, quietly, loudly, boorishly and so on. In each case here there is a better word to replace each of these word pairing terms. You might use sip, gulp and quaff for example.

    But for a word pairing like brutally raped there isn’t a replacement word. Could you use violated? No, because it doesn’t mean the same thing.

    Common words often have a variety of replacement words to replace awkward word pairings. Run, bolt, skitter, trot, jog, gallop, dawdle -> all replacement words for walked quickly, walked slowly, etc.

    So what is wrong with the word pairing brutally raped? The problem is when it is overused then people switch off when they read it. People have an automatic system that greys out the colour and vitality of words pairings heard or read too many times.

    Words have an incredible power to shape our perceptions and our actions. Could you imagine if instead of twenty-seven civilian casualties the newsreader said twenty-seven innocent people were brutally murdered by the US military today. By consistently pairing brutally with raped, writers are trying to add an extreme edge to an already extreme action. Rather than increasing the power and shock of that word it, in fact, dilutes any power it has.

    (And the side note: is there a way to be murdered that isn’t brutal? Yes, there is.)

    A senseless bashing. Is there a bashing that makes sense? Mindless rage. Is there rage that is mindful?

    Adverbs do have their place in writing. Walked slowly is different to dawdled. Dawdled carries tones of procrastination and deliberate delay. Walked slowly is free of those tones. For example, if someone just heard a loved one had died you could write “He walked slowly across the grass and sat down on the blue chair” but perhaps not “He dawdled across the grass and sat down on the blue chair”.

    Most adverbs can be identified by their -ly ending. Quickly, quietly, stupidly, moronically, retardedly, slowly, etc.

    But the best way to identify them is to first work out which word is the verb. It is the action of the sentence. There could be more than one of them. Then look for the word that answers the question “How or in which way is [verb] happening?” Once you’ve identified the word pairing, try to see if you can replace it with a single word.

    “They quickly bounced from one side of the room to the other.”

    Verb: bounced.

    How or in what way is [bounced] happening?

    Quickly.

    Replacements? How about careened? Does it mean the same as quickly bounced? Is bounced strong enough by itself that quickly could be removed from the sentence?

    “They bounced from one side of the room to the other.”
    “They quickly bounced from one side of the room to the other.”
    “They bounced around the room.”
    “They bounced around the room, smashing furniture, kicking walls, splashing paint; it was a destructathon of epic scale.”
    “They bounced around the room, kids possessed with the spirit of rubber balls.”

    Anyways, one of the ways to make your writing better is to find adverbs and see if you can eliminate them.


  2. Waking up thoughts

    April 18, 2008 by Mathew Ferguson

    Did you know that most people remember their dreams on weekends? It’s because we usually switch alarm clocks off and so we naturally phase out of sleep, taking us through dreamland, rather than being jolted awake.

    So, writing life allows me the luxury of sleeping a bit later. Through trial (but not error) I’ve worked out that 8am is the best time for me to wake up. The best time prior to that — about 5:30am. I assume it’s a sleep cycle thing. Because of this, I get to have strange dreams practically every day and awake with many odd thoughts.

    Tuesday: Prime numbers don’t know they are prime numbers like a cat doesn’t know it is called a cat. People call prime numbers prime numbers. That’s why the search for an equation that finds them is useless — because there is NO PATTERN at all.

    Wednesday: Childhood is like a car accident. Some people survive barely injured. Some people have little things happen to them that affects them for the rest of their lives. Most people are bloody, broken-limbed wrecks, pulling themselves along the road. You wouldn’t ask someone with two broken arms to carry a box for you because they would drop it, no matter how much they wanted to hold it for you. But for some reason we ask emotionally broken people to hold our hearts and then are disappointed when they drop them.

    Thursday: I awoke completely convinced that the story I’m writing now (The Humming Cows of Mt Bolliverger) had been written by someone else say, 26 years ago, and I read it when I was eight and now was just regurgitating it from a deep recess of my mind. The last few days the writing has been going well — a little too well. It is scary how easy and fun it is. It feels like there should be a permit or something.

    Friday (today): the Government should offer tax discounts if you can prove you’ve completed a certain amount of exercise per year. Like swimming x laps and some government supervisor ticks your card.

    And I thought I’d note a big first for me: I had a dream about writing. Actually sitting there and writing. It’s never happened before. I take that as a good thing because I figure part of my brain is pre-writing for me and then when I go to the library I’m just transcribing what has already been created.


  3. The silent door opened silently

    April 9, 2008 by Mathew Ferguson

    Man, writing is so annoying sometimes. Some common things that occur:

    Doubling
    The door swung on SILENT hinges and opened SILENTLY.

    Why did I write that? Why is it such a big deal that the door is silent. I had a big day of doubling yesterday.

    Word-Count-Obsession
    Explains itself really. For some reason I keep leaping out of the story and checking the word count. Just could not get lost in the writing today. As a result the 2009 words I managed to slog out were hard and really, not beautiful. What I did today was carving out rough chunks of wood and them hammering them all over the place, making the writing a chore and, oh joy, giving myself a big fixup job later.

    Way-too-Dark-Mr-Character
    Characters come alive and start doing their own thing. That’s fine. Actually, it’s better than fine. It creates the best scenes and the coolest writing. But then one of the characters turns way dark and I’m sitting there helplessly writing down what he’s doing, all the while cringing. Yesterday, the bad guy, Toran, showed one of the kids a videoclip of himself picking up a baby seal and then hurling it down on some rocks to kill it. It was horrible. The kid in question was is disguise as a bigshot gamehunter and Toran is an evil guy who kills endangered animals, but still, it was so freaking dark. So there is something else I’ll have to go back later and fix

    Oh hello, Stomach, we meet again
    What is the secret to good writing? Blood sugar levels. They start to drop and down goes quality. So I eat breakfast, head to library, start writing, start to struggle, realise I’m hungry and then head home. By the time I get home I’m starving. I’ve been experimenting with different foods in the morning that will help keep blood sugar up but haven’t quite found the right stuff yet.

    My, that’s a sexy stretch you’ve got there
    Mostly about the sexy girl sitting two chairs away who kept stretching and playing with her hair and jingling and looking hot. Kinda hard to write here! Does she realise she is stopping the composition of a brilliant work? Nope. But she’s hot so what I am to do?