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December, 2010

  1. Halo

    December 23, 2010 by Mathew Ferguson

    I sneezed and my halo jolted off and rolled down a drain. Maybe lost forever. I called the sewage people and they said it’ll probably come out in a week or so. I was welcome to come down and search through the huge collection of halos they’d pulled out. We give them a good clean the man assured me. No thank you I said as I hung up. I’d rather go without.

    *

    This is very old writing. Could be from high-school, I’m not sure. I can see I had already started my religious mockery.

    Category Short stories | Tags: , | No Comments

  2. furry invaders

    December 23, 2010 by Mathew Ferguson

    they are after our bananas
    I am sure
    but their demands are not clear
    really, it’s just a lot of monkey noises

    Category Poetry | Tags: , | No Comments

  3. Rap News 5: News World Order – the war on journalism (ft. Julian Assange)

    December 23, 2010 by Mathew Ferguson

    Man, I love the Rap News -- and it’s made in Melbourne too!

    Category Blog | Tags: ,, | No Comments

  4. Kind of hard to go back to thinking about trivial First-world bullshit after reading this

    December 22, 2010 by Mathew Ferguson

    From a BBC interview with Julian Assange:

    Q: You want to change the world?

    JA: Absolutely. The world has a lot of problems and they need to be reformed. And we only live once. Every person who has some ability to do something about it, if they are a person of good character, has the duty to try and fix the problems in the environment which they’re in.

    That is a value, that, yes, comes partly from my temperament. There is also a value that comes from my father, which is that capable, generous men don’t create victims, they try and save people from becoming victims. That is what they are tasked to do. If they do not do that they are not worthy of respect or they are not capable.

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  5. The Littlest Car Accident in The World

    December 20, 2010 by Mathew Ferguson

    Yes, it could be a children’s picture book (I much prefer to read The Littlest Sniper personally) but it is in fact what happened this morning whilst driving around.

    I stopped at the lights and then felt the smallest bump.

    How small precisely?

    For a moment I thought I’d just had a small silent hiccup.

    Out we get at the next set of lights and the only sign is a tiny patch of non-dirty bumper on the front of her car.

    So there we have it: the very first car accident I’ve been involved in as a driver.

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  6. Why ebooks will win

    December 19, 2010 by Mathew Ferguson

    From my extremely scientific sample size of one (me) I’ve drawn the very rigorous conclusion from a wealth of data: ebooks will win.

    When I say win I mean win the way cars won over horses. Win in a way that is complete and pervasive. Win the way lasers won over catapults. Win the way Ninjas won over My Little Pony.

    It is so incredibly easy to buy books on Kindle. Search, click, buy. Search, sample, buy. Buy a book, others also bought, browse, sample, buy.

    I think the term used is “frictionless”. I don’t have to enter credit card details with each purchase (thus giving me the chance to think it over). The book turns up in under 30 seconds.

    And it’s easy to use!

    I love my Kindle so very very much and while I love my book collection I look at it now as a big heavy problem. A problem involving beautiful things but a problem.

    The loss of the cheaper secondhand market isn’t good but I think piracy and ultra-low cost ebooks will take care of that. We also need to work out how to retool our libraries so citizens can have access to any book they want.

    Hooray for ebooks!

    Category Blog, ebooks | Tags: , | No Comments

  7. Proprietary eponym

    December 16, 2010 by Mathew Ferguson

    the purple skirt never failed to delight and mirelle used to great effect, gently moving even when standing in place so the skirt mirilled and ordered attention

    that her name had been hoovered and yo-yoed and zippered and themosed and heroined didn’t matter to mirelle – she’d simply turn up at head offices and a mirilling later would walk out with a royalty cheque

    pop-culture magazines piled up their chips and went all in on mirelle and tiber becoming a couple, confident that with tiber being the originator of tibered (to couple for the first time with the intent of becoming a couple) that it was simply a matter of time

    ha! mirelle and tiber becoming a couple was never going to happen

    not with her jamesing and he eved most of the day it wasn’t

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  8. diamond dogs

    December 16, 2010 by Mathew Ferguson

    diamond dogs flooding the streets barking in the morning and lucy yells shut up you stupids out the window but the dogs only speak chinese so they bark some more and run around crazy pulling plants out of the ground and chipping off bits of themselves against fences

    james brings a shard of diamond inside and buries it in a planter box filled with dirt

    a few minutes later a diamond puppy digs its way out as lucy yawns in the doorway, hair messed up artfully, pretending she naturally looks that way in the morning

    you’ll be feeding it she says to james but a minute later she’s schmooping it, delighting in new puppy scent

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  9. Props

    December 16, 2010 by Mathew Ferguson

    it’s not grave-robbing if you put it back says michael

    andrew, law-student and good with a sonograph, says the theft occurs the moment we take, say, the necklace and still applies whether we put it back or not

    returning it is a mitigating factor at best he says

    lucy says do we have to keep talking about this and puts her weight on the crowbar

    Category Short stories | Tags: | No Comments

  10. battlescars

    December 11, 2010 by Mathew Ferguson

    sarah had her battlescars

    here, a line of splattered ink from left kidney to navel, motolei striking out one last time before expiring

    two blue circles on her right thigh that changed to pink at night, an unnamed demon living behind a shelf in a school library

    faint bumps, braille almost, on the back on her left hand from knuckle to wrist, yuil’s skin leaping from its dead host, now contained by a bronze and salt wristlet

    a look, a slower blink and hint of deeper breath when she saw a dark-haired boy unconsciously brush a hand against his lover’s neck, the girl tilting her head

    Category Short stories | Tags: | No Comments

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