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Mattel Big Jim (Big Josh) German Mickey Maus comic 1977

Mattel_b_jim_advertisementWho wants a bearded wood-chopping guy with abs of steel? Every German child does!

Romance comic cover Blame it on my heart

romance_comic_cover_blame_it_on_my_heartJerry went though life charming people into having his own way with them — and I was no exception! He held my heart in the palm of his hand from the time we were children, but unhappiness inevitably lay ahead for me … and I could only … blame it on my heart.

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I love Jerry’s pose. You try and make me!

Romance comic cover Desperate Heart

romance_comic_cover_desperate_heartPuppy love? A schoolgirl’s crush? An impulsive infatuation? Not mine! I was in dead earnest when I said I loved Scott MadisonĀ  — and I moved Heaven and Earth to prove it to the world … and to prove it to Scott! What difference did it make that I was only 16 and he was 24? What difference does age make to a … desperate heart?

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Scott owns his own boat and he’s got a 16-year-old in love with him – what else could a man want? In the comic he also has a pipe (something every 24-year-old guy has). A boat, a pipe and a hot 16-year-old. What could go wrong?

Romance comic Do's and dont's of dating by Page Peterson

doanddontofdatingbypagepetersonDude, you ain’t going to be getting far with Carla if you ain’t got the green to keep her in cinema tickets, cheeseburgers and milkshakes.

And man – check out his vest! Patriotic as all hell.

Romance comic cover In Favour of Love

romance_comic_infavourofloveI wanted love but I wanted security too, but I couldn’t find them both in the same man. I had to make a decision, in favor of security or … in favor of love!

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Sorry dude, she’s gonna marry for money and then have random affairs with pool-boys and tennis coaches. Take your poor ass back over to eight-mile and freestyle rap about it.

Mickey Maus Build a helicopter Disney 1977 cut-out and construct

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A cardboard cut-out helicopter from a 1977 German Mickey Maus comic. Click on each image for full-size.

Romance comic column Marc on the man's side!

romance_comic_marconthemanssideALL RIGHT, GIRLS – YOU WIN!!!!

So many hundreds of you have written in denouncing me because of my outspoken opinions about Woman’s Lib (about which I have not changed my mind one single iota), that I HAVE REACHED A DECISION.

NO MORE DISCUSSION OF WOMEN’S LIB IN THIS COLUMN.

(For the time being, that is.)

YOUR LANGUAGE, on the above subject – tch, tch! – has been violent, disgusting, and UNPRINTABLE. For those who believe in Women’s Lib, you do your thing. For those of us who don’t believe in it, we’ll do our thing.

SO DROP THE SUBJECT, hey?

NOW TO GET ON WITH THIS MONTH’S MAIL:

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Man oh man whatta man. I don’t have any other samples to judge the guy with but it seems even back then, it was good to play the bastard. I wonder what he means by not believing in Women’s Lib? Is he opposed to contraception? Perhaps against equal pay for equal work. I wonder if Marc was a real guy?

Romance comic cover No Happy Returns

romance_comic_cover_no_happy_returnsHave you ever seen the man you love slipping away from you because of things you couldn’t help? Though I tried to do and be the things Phillip Lenkeith wanted, I failed … and lost him at last to another woman! My heart told me then there would be … no happy returns.

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Susan has apparently pulled her last boner. I’m pretty sure Phillip is wrong on that. Don’t worry Susan! There are plenty of boners in your future. I can feel it. (The future.) (Not boners.)

Romance comic cover Once to Every Girl!

romance_comic_cover_once_to_every_girlFor years, I had watched people walk off with all of life’s prizes while I counted my failures. But now I was facing my biggest opportunity … and I refused to let anything stand in my way … not even the love that comes only … once to every girl!

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Love isn’t going to keep her from success. No ma’am.