Script fragment

CHRIS RUDOLPH lays under grey webbing using a computer tablet to adjust a sniper rifle focussed on the front of a distant building. Suddenly the tablet rings and HOME appears. He taps ACCEPT and two young children (a boy and a girl) appear.
She put her finger in my cereal!
He’s sobbing, distraught. The greatest injustice of the universe.
He put his finger in my cereal! He’s lying!
CHRIS (weary)
Don’t put your fingers in the cereal.
The children immediately start squabbling and drop the tablet. We hear them running off yelling for MOM. The family dog approaches and starts licking the glass of the tablet.
No Bailey! Bailey No!
Bailey paws at the tablet and manages to hang up. Chris sighs as the view flips back to the sniper crosshairs. A white-haired old man is exiting the building heading for a limo.
He hits a target symbol and the sniper rifle locks on. He presses FIRE but it’s too late – the target is ducking down. The glass door of the building shatters. Bodyguards shove the old man inside the limo a moment before a Mr Whippy Van skids to a stop, blocking the view. The driver bolts.
Chris sighs and drags the crosshairs to a gas cylinder on the back of the van.
Sorry, Mr Whippy.
Fire. The bottle explodes and takes the van with it but too late again – the limo is roaring away with a squeal of tires. The giant fibreglass ice-cream cone goes spinning through the air and crashes through the windshield of a parked car. Chris lets out a deep sigh. Just then the tablet rings again with HOME displayed. He hits ACCEPT.
It’s Bailey. He’s still licking the tablet.
Chris is sitting at a desk talking to an unseen screen.
No one can predict a Mr Whippy Van blocking the shot!
He has fled the country. We don’t know where he is.
I’ll find him.
Is that a volcano?
Behind him we see a school project volcano under construction.
Can’t get the lava to work.
Try corn syrup and cocoa powder. Thickens it.
I’ll give it a shot.
Very funny.
EXT – HOUSE, DOG Kennel.
Chris retrieves the computer tablet from Bailey’s kennel.
Something I wrote very quickly to entertain my housemate.

One Response to “Script fragment”

  1. whymyeye May 29, 2012 at 7:31 pm #

    Hey Mat, love this, the domestic everyday that undermines the big picture. I wonder if James Bond ever had days like this?? Hope you get to finish it.

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